Anxiety, what a word really. To be completely honest, not a lot of people really understand it. They might say, “Yes, I have heard of it,” but unless you have it, it’s very hard to understand. However, when you do have anxiety, it can be a living nightmare. I’m currently dealing with anxiety at age 16–rather than worrying about boys and the weekend, I’m worried about sickness and dying.

It’s funny when you type the word anxiety, because it just looks so small compared to what it actually is. On paper or on screen, it seems like it’s just a word with little meaning.

Battling anxiety has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The reason for this is because it is something only I can fix. That’s probably the worst part–no one can do anything to help you. They may calm you down, but you are the only one that can control it and make it go away. I learned that through therapy–if you have ever thought about getting a therapist, please do it because they can really turn your life around. Another downfall is that I have missed plenty of school days because of my anxiety. Sadly, no one really treats it like an illness or a disease. In their eyes, it’s not a medical problem, so it’s as simple as “you’re fine.”

Most of the time, when I am dealing with anxiety, it feels like no one understands me, or that I’m crazy. Luckily, I know that no one is ever alone, and I am sure others feel this way. In fact, according to adaa.org, GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) affects 6.8 million people, and that is only one of many anxiety disorders. That are a lot of people who may be going through the same thing you and I are going through.

anxiety article

Me!

Anxiety can also make you feel awkward with friends. It can be a hard subject to talk about because even though 6.8 million people have GAD, it doesn’t mean your friends are in that category. It can be embarrassing to talk about or even bring up, which is a shame. I once had a friend (who I am not friends with anymore) give me a hug and walk out of where I was while I was having a panic attack, when she “knows” what it’s like because she has them. Luckily, I had people with me who helped me get through it. That same friend also said I should go “see someone.” It made me feel quite upset, even though I probably just took it the wrong way, but oh well. It didn’t make me feel the greatest.

With anxiety, you can’t really go places if your mind isn’t in the best state. Even going to the mall, which is supposed to be a fun time, can turn into a nightmare. My school’s football games, or anywhere you can think of really, can be fun one moment and horrible the next.

A lot of people say “Home is where the heart is,” and for me home is where I can feel safe, and my anxiety isn’t that bad. But in no way shape or form is it completely gone. It’s always there, and it can get worse at any moment. For some reason my mind always goes to the worst possibility, and if I think about it too hard, the panic raises. For example, it sucks when I can’t find my sibling or my parents go out for a bit because I start to feel panic because I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. That’s just one of the many reasons why my brain can’t ever take a sick day.

A day without anxiety could be compared to when you realize that you just won the lottery, as you can imagine, it’s a really good feeling. As i’m writing this, I’m thinking back to the time when I didn’t have anxiety. Sure, I must of worried about somethings like everyone does, but I still can remember the first time it hit me, which I will probably write about another time. It just happened so fast: one moment I was a worry free young child, then the next I’m full of anxiety. It just hit me like a basketball in gym class… and as you can imagine, it did not feel great.

Before I wrap things up, I want to give people one tip on how I deal with anxiety. It might be something you would never expect, but you should always have a comfort song–a song that you can turn on when you get anxious, and it calms you down. My first ever comfort song was “Breathe” by Anna Nalick. I still listen to that song today. I made that my comfort song because when I felt like I couldn’t handle it, in my brain the words “just breathe” kept coming up. I remembered then that it was a song, I found it and have been listening to it ever since. Funny thing is that my sister Lauren used to listen to that song when she was my age, and she had the same anxieties that I have. She also writes for this blog. Now, a lot more songs help me, and I can really listen to anything.

Anxiety is a disorder that is very real to the person that has it. If you are reading this and you have anxiety–any kind of anxiety– know that you can get through it and know that you are never alone. I hope this article helped at least one person or shed insight on anxiety. Until I write again, just breathe and stay strong.

Comments

comments